


You're The Light/Night/Color Of My Blood

by HunterByDayWhovianByNight



Series: Far Across The Distance And Spaces Between Us [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Domestic Bliss, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Jedi Ben, Jedi Rey, Jedi Training, Living in the Light, Marriage Proposal, Planet Naboo (Star Wars), Rebuilding the Jedi Order, References To Grey Jedi, Wedding Night, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:13:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HunterByDayWhovianByNight/pseuds/HunterByDayWhovianByNight
Summary: “She loved him not only in spite of but because he himself was incapable of love.” - William Faulkner“Now at last I know why I was brought here and what I have to do.” - Jean Rhys"I saw that, of the two natures that contended in the field of my consciousness, even if I could rightly be said to be either, it was only because I was radically both." - Robert Louis StevensonThey could finally be away from the prying eyes of the galaxy and could build a new one, one with no light or dark.A/N: Commission-based work.





	You're The Light/Night/Color Of My Blood

**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission-based work; I do not ship Reylo. Title is from "Love Me Like You Do” by Ellie Goulding. 
> 
> ~Hunter

“Is this next time?” Rey asks. Ben gives her the biggest smile she’s ever seen, and seconds later he’s walking down the walkway and she takes a few steps back for him, but he jog-runs into her and almost tackles her with a hug. Rey can barely breathe because Ben’s hugging her so tight, but she’s doing the same to him, so she can’t really complain. Ben’s strong arms give her a feeling of safety and security; she doesn’t want him to let go. She buries her nose into his chest and breathes in his scent. He smells clean, faintly of soap and something muskier. Rey has never paid attention to that before, and despite all the luxuries of their force bond, she could never smell him the way she does right now. It’s heady, overwhelms Rey’s senses, but in a good way; she wants to cover herself in Ben, have him hold her tighter or  _ something  _ so that  _ she  _ smells like him.

Rey yelps when she feels her feet leave the ground as Ben lifts her up and spins her around before setting her down. Regretfully, Ben pulls away and his safe, comforting arms are not as tight around her anymore. Rey misses how they feel already, but his hands on her biceps ground her and keep her in this moment, remind her that Ben can still protect her. Ben pulls Rey in for a chaste kiss on her forehead and she lifts up onto her toes to meet him. When he kisses her nose and then her lips, she melts into Ben’s arms. The trio of kisses is their little thing; he always did it before they parted for the evening.

“You changed your look,” Rey notes, looking at Ben’s robes. He actually does go by Ben, now. He’s in the off-white and brown robes and tall boots of a Jedi. Ben looks all the more attractive to her, and she’d be lying if she didn’t say she wanted to have him right here. His hair is cut nicer, styled so that it’s not as wild.  _ This  _ is the Ben she wanted, the Ben she always knew was deep inside of Kylo Ren. Rey runs her fingers over the crossed folds of Ben’s Jedi robes and feels tears well up in the corners of her eyes. To see that he’s good, that he’s Ben inside and out, overwhelms her with emotion. Coupled with seeing him again for the first time in so long, Rey is surprised she doesn’t completely break down. 

“I did,” Ben replies with a mischievous little smirk. He pushes a stray hair from Rey’s buns behind her ear and caresses her cheek before allowing his hand to rest against her cheekbone. “I don’t think those black robes suit me anymore.”

“I never thought they suited you,” Rey whispers, mostly to herself, before burying her face in Ben’s shoulder. Her fingers toy with the excess fabric of Ben’s dark brown robe and she clings to him with all the strength she can muster. Ben embraces Rey, allowing her to be closer to him and to feel him. 

Suddenly, Ben sweeps Rey off her feet bridal style, making her cry out, and carries her closer to the lake and lays her down on the soft green grass. Rey tries to protest, kicking her feet in the air as he holds her close to his chest in his strong arms. When Rey’s back hits the ground, she sighs as the warm grass envelops her body and Ben leans over her on his side. Rey doesn’t even want to move because it’s so nice and she feels truly relaxed on this beautiful planet with Ben curled up to her side. The sun is shining, but it is not blinding or oppressive. The wind is gentle and cool, not harsh. This moment, with the sun shining and the water of the lake lapping against the shore and Ben curled up to Rey, feels perfect. 

“Rey?” 

Rey gives an affirmative noise to Ben, whose head is currently situated on her stomach. She puts a hand through his black curls, carding her fingers through the soft hair. It brings Rey such balance to really touch him, to not be separated by light years or by the force. It always felt distant when they touched because Rey knows he isn’t there, it’s just the force projecting. It feels so unreal, but so wonderful at the same time.

“I missed you,” Ben says softly, holding Rey’s middle tighter. The way Ben clings to her, like he believes that she’ll protect him from any danger, shows how vulnerable he still is, how he’s still just a boy in his heart, one that was afraid of the future. Rey’s eyes close and she smiles. She can’t stop smiling.

“I missed you, too,” Rey replies, feeling her heartstrings ache with love. Ben sits up over her again, his dark curls falling into his eyes. Now that he’s cut his hair, not all of it covers his face when he looks down. Rey reaches up and pushes it back, lets her hand rest on the nape of his neck. Ben’s beautiful dark eyes are full of longing and love for Rey, and he doesn’t even try to hide it from her. Rey feels so in love with Ben right now, and she pulls him down for a deep kiss, one that makes Ben yelp as their lips meet. As they kiss, she rolls them so that Ben is on his back, below her weight as she straddles him. Her hands are on Ben’s face, cupping his cheeks and stroking his lips with her fingers. Rey feels Ben’s thick cock hardening beneath her groin as she shifts her weight on his hips.

“Are we going to do this now?” Ben asks when Rey has her hands on his robes, ready to pull them off. Rey wants him, wants him so bad she can taste it. The fact that they’re on Naboo, in the light,  _ together  _ makes Rey want him even more. This is every fantasy she’s had; every time she’s gotten off, it’s been to the thought of them on Naboo, with their family, entwined. This has been her dream for so long. 

“I’ve wanted to feel you, for real, for too long,” Rey says, her forehead resting against Ben’s.She pets his hair, smoothing the curls below her fingers. She can feel their hot breath mingling, can feel the warm grass under her knees. “I want this now. Please, Ben. Please. I want everything I’ve dreamed of with you.”

Ben sits up so that they’re face to face, his hands on her back and neck. Their noses are slotted together, their foreheads resting against each other. Rey senses the disbelief and uncertainty in Ben, even though they have done this before so many times. It’s no surprise that Ben asks, “You really want me? The little house? The family? And you really, truly want that with me?” He does it every time.

“I’ve always wanted it with you. Can’t you understand that, Ben?” Rey says, trying not to sound too critical. She knows how he gets, how he doubts and questions himself; it’s a byproduct of his time living in the dark. To this day, he still questions his presence in the light. Ben is terrified of not being good enough, of not being able to  _ be  _ enough.

“Make me understand, Rey,” Ben whispers against her lips. “Make me better.”

“I will.” 

When Rey bridges the gap between their lips and kisses Ben, she relishes in the soft whine in the back of his throat. Ben gropes her breast roughly and Rey groans in consent, leaning into his touch so that he gets the hint. One of Ben’s large hands goes between Rey’s legs and palms the apex of her thighs, the heel of his hand rubbing up against her clit. Rey feels her underwear get wet and sticky as she rocks against Ben’s hand (that has now somehow found its way into her trousers). In a deft motion, Rey presses Ben’s back down onto the ground. 

With his help, Rey strips Ben of his robes so that his chest is bare. Like always, she traces Ben from his shoulders to his abdomen with the tips of her fingers. Rey grinds her hips on him as she touches him and feels his cock get harder against her sex. Rey feels even more wetness gather between her legs and feels the coil of arousal tighten in her groin. Ben grips her hips with a grunt as she teases him; if she was not wearing clothes, his grip would probably leave a bruise. Under Rey’s palms, the  _ ba-thump, ba-thump  _ of Ben’s heart reminds her that this is not a fantasy she has created in her head. Rey doesn’t want to stop touching his warm skin; she’s never been able to do it in person, and it takes her a second to remember that they’re not bound by the force right now- they’re actually in the same place at once.

“Stars, Rey,” Ben groans and pauses, his grip on Rey’s hips tightening momentarily, “want you already.”

Rey nods and moves off of him so they can finish removing their own clothes. Rey leaves the tie on her top for Ben to pull off slowly, like he always does. When they’re done removing their boots and trousers, Ben straightens out his robe for Rey and lays her down on it, but she stops him. Ben watches with intrigued eyes as Rey guides him to the ground and straddles him. Rey feels her heart thunderously pound against her ribs as Ben lets her take control. One hand pins Ben down and the other reaches to line up his cock with her slit. Rey just wants to sink down onto him because she’s been aching for him since the moment she saw him land on Naboo, but she wants to savor their first time in person. Ben looks up at her with the eyes of naïve boy, and Rey knows how Ben must have felt their first time, when he had control and she was (mostly) at his wishes. 

With ease, she sinks down onto Ben and feels his hands immediately fly to her hips. Rey’s mind shorts out completely and she digs her nails into Ben’s chest. It’s been awhile since they went beyond heavy foreplay or just lying by each other’s sides, so Rey tenses up and Ben grips her hips as they both adjust to the slightly-unfamiliar feeling. Rey still can’t get over how it feels for Ben to be inside her; he’s so  _ big  _ that she still feels the burn-stretch of their first time. After a moment, Rey rocks her hips and moans at the feeling of Ben moving in her; when Ben snaps up and sits up with Rey, he enters her deeper and Rey gasps in surprise. Her hands try and find somewhere to be, eventually resting on Ben’s neck and shoulder. Rey keeps her face close to Ben’s in the hopes that she (or he) could steal a kiss. Their hips move in time with each other, and Rey feels the balance, the force each time they meet. She always does. But this? In person? It’s even better than when it happens during their force bonding, Rey decides. And the central, hot, pulsing energy in Rey’s groin that makes her inner muscles contract in makes the act all the more enjoyable and special. 

Ben clutches Rey’s shoulders and holds her close to him as he thrusts up into her sharply. Rey reaches between them and circles her clit as she feels herself get closer. Ben’s whispering sweet nothings into her ear and taking his time with each sharp thrust, each caress. It makes Rey fall apart, want him more. Their lips meet in a kiss again and the connection of their mouths makes this act all the more intimate. Rey breathes out an  _ I love you, Ben  _ against Ben’s cheek. He responds with  _ Stars, Rey- I love you, too  _ as Rey feels his thrusts becoming erratic. She knows he’s close and she is too; with quicker fingers, she rubs her clit and grinds down on Ben, trying to get more of him. She wants to make him come.  

It’s only a few moments before they both come, holding the other close and gasping, panting, shuddering. Rey feels Ben’s come surge inside of her walls, hot and filling and  _ perfect. _ She removes herself from their entwined position, feeling empty at the loss of him, but they lie down on Ben’s robe together and he wraps an arm around her. Ben’s skin is hot, Rey notes, and she admires the pink flush on his neck and shoulders; she’s only noticed it the last few times they’ve had sex and it makes her grin knowing that she caused it. Rey truly feels like Ben is a part of her now that they’ve done this in person. It did feel different when separated by the light years, because in the back of Rey’s mind, she knew he wasn’t  _ actually  _ there. Now, though, that would change. She won’t have to rely on the force bond to be able to see Ben; all she will have to do is call out his name or glance around for him. It almost makes Rey cry, but then she hears a soft sniffing noise. 

“Ben? Are you alright?” Rey asks, taking Ben’s cheeks in her hands and wiping his tears away with her thumbs. It still breaks her heart every time to see his dark brown eyes water and spill over with tears. 

“I love you so much, Rey,” Ben says with a broken smile. His voice and lower lip quiver as tears slide down his face and the tears make Rey’s heart feel weak and heavy. Ben puts his palm on her cheek, gently stroking it and acting like it’s the first time he’s ever touched her. He drags a thumb over Rey’s lips, parting them as he says, “And to be able to fulfill what you’ve always wanted makes me so happy.”

“I know it does, Ben,” Rey says with a smile and tears threatening to roll down her cheeks. “I love you too,” she adds, burying her face in Ben’s shoulder. Ben squeezes his arms around her. 

_ “I love you,” _ she echoes, whispering the words into his skin like a prayer. 

~~~~~

Rey and Ben live in town for a time before they build their house by the lake. The people of Naboo do not know who they are, thank the stars, only that they are with the force and that they know the old Jedi ways. Ben presents Rey with a set of Jedi robes and she begins to wear them in place of her old clothes. They make her feel more secure, more in touch with herself and with the power she has. They let her forget the past, all the pain and hurt she lived through with them. Rey feels powerful when she dons the long brown robe and the cream tunic, lightsaber by her side; when people in town recognize her and Ben as Jedi when they walk together in their robes, side by side, it never fails to perk her up and paint a joyous smile on hers and Ben’s faces. Rey has never seen Ben smile so much, his eyes light up so brightly.

One day in town, Rey meets a young girl who is force sensitive. At first, she feels a wavering in the force different to that of Ben’s, but then she turns and sees a girl of barely six levitating a piece of fruit from her family’s stand. Rey just about drops her bags when she sees it and approaches her. Rey got down to the girl’s level and asked her name, and then took the fruit from her and levitated it. The girl, Amaka, laughs in delight and Rey asks how long she’s been able to levitate objects and if she felt a disturbance in the universe around her a week ago when she and Ben first arrived. Amaka replies that she’s been able to do this since she can remember and that yes, she did feel strange a week ago. Rey says not to worry, that she and Ben will come visit her parents tonight and talk to them about her future. Rey tells Ben that afternoon and he gets excited; they make the immediate to discuss the potential of Jedi training with the girl’s parents. The girl’s parents are shocked and overjoyed that their daughter had the force, that she will help the Jedi return to the galaxy. 

Word spreads like wildfire after Ben and Rey begin teaching Amaka, and people in the town and neighboring provinces bring Rey and Ben their children in the hopes that they can teach their sons or daughters the ways of the Jedi. It makes Ben worry that they will appear on the radar of the First Order, but Rey tells him that someone would have tracked and found them by now if they really wanted, and it quells Ben’s mind for a time. While teaching the younglings gives Rey joy, seeing Ben instruct them makes her swell with pride at the fact that he’s a real Jedi Master. Ben is  _ creating  _ for once, not destroying. 

Rey knows in her bones that Ben looks forward to seeing them every morning because he always stoops down to their level and lights up when they come running up the road. The younglings cozy up to him and hug his legs when they arrive before doing the same to Rey, and it only makes Rey wonder how it would be with children of their own. Ben is so patient and affectionate with them, listening to what they have to say and answering their questions, hugging them back or ruffling their hair. She wants him to be the father to their children, if they ever have them; Ben would be a good father. 

~~~~~

In Ben’s eyes, still, Rey sees the pain and guilt of so many years of living in the dark in his dark brown eyes. She catches it when he guides the younglings in meditation or when he’s walking along the lengthier path they take to the swamps. Rey knows when he thinks about the past because he stops momentarily and gets a concerned yet distant look in his eyes, like he’s been ripped out of the moment and shoved back in all at the same time. If the thought is powerful enough, Ben subconsciously reaches out to Rey and she can feel the pain he feels more acutely than any other feeling in her body. And they share that moment, that snippet of the past. But Rey sees it affect Ben more; he has nightmares over the horrors he’s witnessed and caused by his own hand. Rey suspects they won’t go away for a very long time, if at all. 

One night, Rey wakes up to Ben’s weight on the bed shifting. She glances over at Ben as he wakes from a nightmare. He is hunched over, head in his hands, a sheen of sweat on his back. His figure is illuminated in the moonlight, and Rey sees his back muscles tensing and untensing as he breathes deeply. Rey sits up, puts her hand gently on Ben’s shoulder blade, and rests her forehead against his back. She whispers against his skin if he had a nightmare and wanted to talk about it. Ben turns around and looks at her, his eyes and cheeks wet and red with tears. He doesn’t have to say a word; Rey sees all of the pain and torture in his eyes. Before, when he was Kylo Ren, he would have told her to go away, but he was Ben now- not Kylo. Ben tells her with his eyes that he needs her to stay, needs her to love him. 

Ben falls into Rey’s arms, crying and sobbing as he tells her about his nightmare and how he killed the younglings in a fit of rage and even turned on Rey and murdered her in cold blood. He mentions that he thinks she was pregnant in the dream, too. He says he barely recognized himself, that he didn’t even seem or  _ look  _ like Ben in the nightmare. He looked like evil personified. He looked like Kylo Ren. Rey allows him to speak and to cry as she cards her fingers through his hair and eases the horrors out of his worried mind. Rey tries not to criticize Ben in her mind for still having these thoughts; he is with a woman who loved him, a community who helps him, a clan who adores him. Rey reaches out to Ben and says  _ This will pass, Ben, love. It will be better one day.  _ Ben replies  _ I know. It’s just hard to stop remembering.  _

Rey presses a kiss to the top of his head and holds him close to her chest, like a mother would to her child, like the young woman in blue holding her son in those old religious paintings she’s seen before. Ben is still softly sniffling against her chest, but Rey picks up that Ben is lulled into calmness by the steady  _ ba-thump, ba-thump  _ of her heart. Ben’s head is nestled below Rey’s chin and her arms wrap tightly around him. As they drift off again, Ben says he is afraid. Afraid of being in the dark again. Afraid of killing in  _ that  _ way again. Rey says that there is too much good in him, that it is overwhelming and that the force will not let him act in such a manner. Ben says he trusts her judgement with a drowsy voice and then falls asleep. Rey promises to herself that night that she will never let Ben turn to the dark. 

~~~~~

“Ben?” Rey asks as they leave the house and walk down the town’s main street. It’s a cool day, overcast and windy. There may be rain later today. Ben’s black curls are tossed about by the wind and his cheeks and nose get red from the cool air. 

“Yes, Rey?”

“Do you really think that the Jedi will continue? That they’ll go on?” Rey asks. “Will all our work pay off?” Ben stops and she does, too. They look into each other’s eyes and Ben smiles. Rey loves his smiles; they used to be rare, but now he smiles every day. Ben’s smiles remind Rey that any person can be good, can live in the light. 

“I really do. These children… they’re the only hope we have for continuing this way of life,” Ben says, putting a hand on Rey’s shoulder. Rey feels a swell of pride rise in her chest at the thought of the younglings she teaches becoming Masters and having a clan of younglings and Padawans of their own one day. 

“I hope they pass what they have learned on,” Rey says as she takes Ben’s hand in hers. Her hand is so small in comparison to his. She thinks about the way his hands were on her the night before, how they can almost encircle her whole waist. 

“I know they will,” Ben says with a kiss to Rey’s forehead, one that makes her blush and cast her eyes down as she feels her cheeks flush. Rey and Ben continue walking down the street, but Rey clutches Ben’s arm with her free hand and rests her cheek on the scratchy fabric of his robe.

“I noticed that Jonaus has taken a particular liking to you, Ben,” Rey notes, to which Ben huffs in amusement at. Jonaus is one of the oldest boys, nearly seven, and looks like what Rey imagines Luke would have looked like at that age, with sandy hair and big blue eyes. 

“He says it’s because he sees the light and dark in me so equally. He said that when I was telling him about the balance of the force, he really felt what I was talking about when he touched my hand,” Ben says with a grin. “I don’t know why, but it made me happy. I’ve never felt true balance, so hearing that… it made this all worth it.”

“That‘s wonderful,” Rey smiles. It’s heartwarming to know that Ben feels a connection with their students and that he even feels that it’s all worth it. She feels so powerfully that he’s a good man. Ben closes his eyes and reaches out to Rey to tell her  _ I love you.  _

Rey smiles and closes her eyes. She says  _ I love you _ back. 

~~~~~

The younglings Rey and Ben teach, a motley little clan of fifteen, meet them at the edge of town and they walk to the lake to practice. They come running up the main road together, playing and laughing even though it is so early. When they get to the lake, they first do meditations, then Rey tells them about the history of the Jedi from what she’s learned from the sacred texts. When they do weapons training, they use one of the small blaster machines Ben was taught on. It makes Rey chuckle to see the younglings get overzealous with the practice lightsabers. Watching the younglings stumble and fall yet get up and keep trying again and again helps Rey remember that this is all real, that she and Ben aren’t going to be the last Jedi. It brings Rey peace to know that. 

When Ben shows their students’ parents how to make the traditional Jedi youngling robes and they begin to wear them, Rey feels her heart melt. Rey watches in reverence as Ben takes the younglings into their home and sits them down to do their hair in the Padawan style. He cuts the boys’ hair short and gives them braids, and sections off the girls’ hair to give them the braid, too. They look like proper younglings, now, running around and calling themselves heroes and Jedi in their robes and braids. Rey talks to Ben about taking the next step in their training and going to choose Kyber crystals with their students, and Ben says they can go to the cave where he chose his blue crystal. They decide to wait until their students have progressed some, and maybe after they settle down. 

Sometimes, Rey and Ben take the students on longer walks and show them the deeper beauty of their beautiful planet. (Ben always picks up the youngest of their clan, a three-year-old girl named Kaylut, and holds her on his hip when they go on long walks. Rey melts when she sees it.) They show them the duality of all living things and the infinite, perfect balance. They show them how to feel and to be in touch with their emotions and their instincts because they realize that cutting oneself off from emotion or letting emotion control them is what creates polarity, creates extremes. They make sure not to tell them that they must be good or bad inherently- only that they use their powers of the force to help others. Rey and Ben have quietly decided between them that this next generation of Jedi will be grey Jedi- they don’t want to run into the same old routine of spotless light and impure dark forever battling against each other. This new generation must be able to recognize all aspects of the world and use the dark  _ and  _ the light to truly embody the force. Rey and Ben do not see their students embodying an overwhelming, controlling dark. To Ben especially, this is a blessing. 

The Naboo show more optimum in the weeks after they send their children to train with Rey and Ben. They express their gratitude by giving them food, and then helping them build their little house by the lake. Later, when Ben says in passing at the town’s bar that they would soon need a temple to teach their students, some men say that they can begin building in the next month, that the temple can sit on the edge of town. Ben rushes home and tells Rey, and she bursts into tears. Her dream of teaching the next generation is becoming realized, and she’s never been more happy. The Naboo are so friendly and kind; it’s just what Rey and Ben need after such tumultuous pasts. 

~~~~~

At night, after teaching their students, Rey and Ben are alone together and they never leave each other’s sides in their little house by the lake. Rey cooks while Ben does other chores and then they eat together. After, Ben cleans up and Rey gets ready for bed. Ben joins her, and then he kisses her on her forehead, her nose, her lips. Sometimes, that is all for the night, especially if they had a long day training. Ben would understand and simply slip beside Rey under the blankets, wrapping a protective arm around her. Other times, they kiss longer, get more heated, but it just leads to them stroking or rubbing the other off as their mouths sloppily connect and disconnect in an imitation of a kiss. 

A few times a week, though, Rey gives Ben a sign that she wants him that night. Watching him with the children, teaching them and nurturing them, has made her want Ben all the more. She’s never seen him so loving and compassionate, so patient and instructive. He looks so so handsome in his Jedi robes and there are some days Rey wishes they were all alone so he could take her as many times as he was able. When she wants him, she gently touches his wrist sometime during the day or shoots him a sidelong glance full of lust. Rey knows he knows what those glances mean, and instead of just sleeping or grinding against each other, Ben pushes her into the mattress and buries his face between her thighs, licking and sucking and kissing every inch of her until she screams and pulls on his hair and finally comes. Rey lives for the moment his tongue is on her clit, lapping up her wetness, and teasing her slit with his tongue. What’s even better, though, is after when Ben spreads her out and takes her, lets her ride him, or holds her hands above her head (sometimes using the force, which adds a whole new level of arousal and excitement to the liaison). 

Once, though, Rey said she wanted it rougher, and Ben delivered. He turned her over and took her from behind, slamming his hips against hers. Rey felt pleasure course through her body like electricity and she gripped the blankets tighter than she did her first time because Ben felt so good. The sound and  _ feel  _ of his skin against hers was too much, and they came together, groaning and panting, too exhausted to move after Ben had pulled out. She was impossibly sore the next day and had to sit down for most of it, but seeing Ben like that sparked something in her that she couldn’t quite pin down. 

It still never occurred to Rey that she could get with child, what with the way she allows, no,  _ makes  _ Ben come inside of her each time they have sex. She knows that she can, yes, but never in the moment. All she knows is the warm, wet, filling feeling of his come inside her. Rey swears she can feel it get sucked into her, but that’s probably just her active imagination; what she does feel, though, is the sorrowful way Ben’s come spills out of her slit and down her thighs onto the sheets. Rey squeezes her legs tighter, tries to trap it all in because the sensation of it  _ inside  _ is so intoxicating. 

Ben tried to pull out once, but Rey just wrapped her strong thighs around his waist and held his pelvis flush to hers as he came, surging inside of her. She gripped his shoulders so hard that night that she left deep, bloody half-moon cuts carved into his skin as she came and felt Ben’s hard cock twitch inside of her, pressed up against her limits, and finally release the thick, white come into her. Ben looked at her incredulously after, surprised at her forcefulness and her lust, but she sensed that it turned him on even more. 

More recently, she’s been canting her hips upwards to prevent too much of his come from leaving her body- she wants it in her, wants his child in her so badly. Rey thinks about it all the time and when she bleeds every month, she knows that next month, she’ll send Ben more signs that she wants to have sex. She knows he won’t mind. It’s just that after seeing the younglings, and then Ben  _ teaching  _ them, she wants children of her own. She doesn’t know how many she wants; maybe three. Or as many as Ben could give her. She doesn’t care. She just wants the children she has to be his. 

~~~~~

Ben asks Rey to marry him four months after they come to Naboo. He does it when the cornerstone of what will become a new Jedi temple is put down, in front of the townspeople and the younglings. Rey says  _ yes, yes  _ a thousand times to Ben when he asks her in his confident, loving voice. She’s wanted this for so long, has wanted to feel bound to him on another level. Them getting married would be like their force bond physically manifesting itself. They kiss afterwards for what seems like a thousand years as people clap and cheer all around them. When they finally pull apart, Ben gives Rey a ring, slim and silver, with a small green crystal in it from when they went to the caves last month for The Gathering. They kiss again and when Ben dips her, Rey makes a noise of surprise and smiles so wide she can barely kiss him back. 

When Rey and Ben return home, Rey pounces on Ben and attacks him with kisses. Ben responds to her, like he always does, and is eager in his kisses, in the way he touches her. Rey tugs hard on Ben’s brown robes, pulling him towards their shared bedroom. Ben’s large hands are on Rey’s waist and neck, holding her close and keeping her slim body flush up against his muscled one. She walks backwards until her legs hit their bed, and then collapses on it with Ben on top of her. 

“I love you, Ben,” Rey says between kisses, her hands finding their way all over Ben’s body. She rolls her hips up and finds him half-hard against her pelvis. 

“Love you, too, Rey,” Ben replies, moaning when Rey rolls up her hips. Rey can feel Ben holding back some, like he doesn’t really want to continue but still wants to make Rey happy. Rey stops for a moment, Ben’s face in her hands as she gazes at him. 

“I can sense you’re holding back,” Rey says simply. “Is something wrong?”

Ben gets a nervous expression on his face and Rey can tell he wants to say something to her but at the same time, doesn’t want to offend her. Ben gulps and licks his lips, unsure if he wants to say what he has to say next. 

“I think we should hold off on sex until the wedding,” Ben says quickly, just in case Rey tries to protest. Rey’s eyes widen and her lips slightly part in surprise. Usually, Ben was so eager and would have her with no hesitation. Even if he knew they had a tiring day of training the next day, he would still have her. 

“Oh,” was all Rey could say. She sat up slightly and allowed Ben to sit next to her on the bed. Rey felt empty between her legs, in her womb at the withholding of sex. She aches, even, for what Ben usually gave so freely to her. Rey shifts on the bed to give herself even the slightest bit of friction to relieve her arousal. 

“Don’t think I don’t want you, Rey. Because right now, I’m looking at you,” Ben pauses and puts his hands on Rey’s shoulders, admiring her, “and I want you so badly.”

“Then why?” Rey implores, her fingers bunching up the fabric of Ben’s robes. 

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder, Rey,” Ben admits, skimming his fingers up the inside of her thigh before pulling them away and resting his hand on her knee. Rey opens her mouth to protest, but then her mouth closes when she gets Ben’s drift. They’ve been having sex more often, now, nearly every single night. Holding back for a few nights wouldn’t hurt them and would make their first time  _ married  _ all the more special. 

“I know what you mean,” Rey replies with a small smile. Ben leans forward and kisses her forehead. It’s a lingering kiss, lasting for a few seconds, and warmth spreads throughout Rey’s whole body when he pulls away. Ben kisses her forehead, then nose, and lips, and that is that.

~~~~~

Three days later, Rey marries Ben. The Naboo decorate the town with native flowers and the morning of the wedding, they block off the main road and put out tables and chairs for the feast the townspeople have planned for after the ceremony. The women take Rey away from hers and Ben’s house by the lake after training, insisting that Ben can’t see her until she comes down the aisle. Rey longs for Ben the night before her wedding and she can’t stop thinking about him. Rey reaches out to Ben and is immediately comforted by the sight of him laying in their bed, asleep. She walks over to him and pets his hair, carding her fingers through the thick black curls. He looks so peaceful when he’s asleep, his long eyelashes fluttering and his pink lips parted. Rey smiles to herself and leans down to kiss his forehead before withdrawing and letting Ben sleep. She crawls back into her bed, under the covers, and drifts off to sleep, thinking of Ben and how it’ll feel tomorrow to finally be married to Ben and to see him again.

In the morning, the women wake Rey up and have her shower. They throw her a robe and they sit her down to begin styling her hair; they part it down the center and braid two long plaits on the side of her head and loop them up, pinning them above her ears. Kaylut’s mother brings Rey a white blouson shirt, wide-hemmed skirt, and a heavily beaded and embroidered bodice. She says it was hers when she got married four years ago and Rey thanks her for her kindness, thanks all of the women for helping her and Ben. 

Rey slips on the necklace with Luke’s old Kyber crystal around her neck; her  _ something blue _ is what one woman called it. Rey stares at her reflection in the mirror and holds the crystal, remembering her time on his island and what it was like to finally meet him. She wishes he could be here, wishes Leia and Han could be here, too. Her heart aches for Poe and Finn and Chewie and everyone she’s left or who have left her. When she was young, Rey never thought she’d marry. For a time, she didn’t even want to marry because she didn’t think anyone would ever want her. But now that she knows Ben, who was so kind and loving, she wants the bond to be seen by all. 

Rey’s mind is reeling by the time she gets to the ceremony, and she has tunnel vision as she is guided to the pavilion. Somehow, she’s been given a sprig of flowers and a veil and is being told to walk. Rey hasn’t felt this many emotions all at once ever before and it makes her feel a little sick to her stomach, to be honest. Her heart is pounding a thousand times a second and she feels sweaty. She wants to pass out because of the people and the clothes and the pomp and circumstance of it all. 

But then Rey meets Ben’s eyes and she feels none of the nervousness or anxiety of before. His dark brown eyes light up and she feels his force signature become even more intense. Ben, in his Jedi robes, is a comforting sight. He looks so handsome with the dark brown robes, just like when she saw him for the first time on Naboo. She walks a little faster towards him down the aisle and she feels tears rising in her eyes, stinging them and blinding her vision when she sees how Ben reacts to her. He has a hand over his mouth, gazing at her in such awe; she swears she sees tears. 

Ben reaches out and says  _ You look so beautiful, Rey.  _ Rey flushes at his words and smiles widely up at him. Before she can even realize it, she’s standing in front of him and the minister tells them to join their hands. Ben’s hands find her fingertips and hold onto them gingerly as the minister goes through the ceremony. Rey stares into Ben’s eyes the entire time, smiles her widest smile. When the minister asks them each if they wish to be married, they each say yes and then with no hesitation, they lean in for a kiss, to which everyone cheers to. Rey feels Ben smile through their kiss and she does too before they pull away and they walk down the aisle. All of the younglings and their families are cheering, throwing flower petals. It feels magical and overwhelming all at the same time but Rey doesn’t care. She loves Ben, loves this moment. She never wants it to end.

“I love you,” Ben whispers into Rey’s ear when they dance at the party later. The flutes and harps are slow and beautiful as they dance, her head against Ben’s chest. She’s listening to his heavy heartbeat as they move in place, and Ben’s chin is hooked over the top of her head. 

“I love you,” Rey replies, burying her head further into his robes. “I’m looking forward to tonight,” she adds, keeping her voice soft so that the other couples on the dance floor don’t hear her. She hears Ben’s breath catch at the promise of what will happen later. There’s a stirring deep inside her, too; she wants him and wants to share the home they built together. Rey doesn’t think she’s wanted anything more than this. 

~~~~~

At midnight, Rey and Ben leave the festivities and retire to their home. The air is cool, the wind colder, especially as they get closer to the lake where the fog is coming in. Rey’s teeth chattered in the cold air, and she felt a chill go through her body and goosebumps form all over. Combined with the anticipation of what would happen, Rey’s senses were already working overtime. Ben stops and like the gentleman he is, wraps his brown cloak around Rey to keep her warm. Rey mouths a  _ thank you  _ to him and picks up the hem of the skirt to prevent the white fabric from getting dirty. 

“You know, I’ve never seen you look more beautiful than you did today,” Ben admits sheepishly to Rey. “Except for maybe our first time.”

“You really think so?” Rey asks, looking down at her white dress. She’s holding up the skirt with one hand while the other clings to Ben’s arm to keep him close. There’s no lights on the way to their house, only the moon and stars (they shine so bright here; Ben tells her it’s nothing like Coruscant, which is one big city). 

“I do, Rey,” Ben says, leaning all the way down to press a kiss on the skin behind Rey’s ear. Rey feels a shiver go down her spine and a jolt of pleasure go to her groin. Out of the corner of her eye, Rey sees Ben smirk; she knows how much he loves doing this to her and seeing her melt under his hands. 

When they arrive at the door, Ben stops Rey and tells her to put her arms around his neck. As soon as she does so, he sweeps her off her feet and opens the door, carrying her over the threshold and setting her down in the small foyer. He closes the door and takes Rey’s hand; her heart is pounding, her mind is reeling. It feels just like their first time all over again. She remembers how nervous she was, how she wanted him so badly. Ben leads Rey into the bedroom and looks down at her, a smile breaking on his lips, one that makes Rey smile just as wide. His eyes beg her consent, and she can tell he wants to go on because he’s holding onto her hands tighter. 

“I’m ready,” Rey says confidently, her eyes completely locked onto Ben’s. She licks her lips and stands on her toes to kiss Ben, who reciprocates with all his being. She’s missed their kisses, deep and long ones that make her melt and want more. Ben has his hands on her waist and he’s pulling her slim body closer to his so that he can undress her at the pace he wants. Ben pulls away from the heated kiss and his fingers go to the laces on the bodice and begin tugging slowly at them before the garment falls. Rey pulls off the shirt and skirt herself before kicking aside her shoes; she hears the rustle of Ben taking off his own clothes and then they’re finally bare before each other. 

Rey flutters her eyes shut when Ben gently pushes her down onto the bed and she feels him mouth at the skin on her neck, her collarbone, her abdomen. Rey shivers and bucks her hips slightly when Ben nips the underside of her breast and closes his mouth over the top of it; she cradles the backside of his head, fists his curls, and arches her back when he closes his teeth on her nipple. She feels Ben smile against her skin when he kisses back down her body. 

Ben finally places his head between Rey’s thighs and swirls his tongue around her clit, making Rey pierce the skin of Ben’s shoulders. Ben doesn’t hesitate at all when he pushes two fingers into Rey and rubs at her walls, trying to find the spot in her that makes her jolt in pleasure. He sucks hard on her clit, knowing how it makes her legs shake and hips buck in need, want. Rey doesn’t even let Ben come up for air- she forces his face and mouth into the apex of her thighs and makes him work harder to bring her off. When Ben works his tongue into her beside his fingers and uses the point of his nose to stimulate her clit, Rey dissolves and lets out a long, labored exhale. She comes and it feels like a softly rolling wave on the sand; it comes effortlessly and naturally to her. She craves it and the pleasure that follows. Rey releases Ben’s head and he moves up to lay beside her on the bed, his hard cock against her hip. Ben grins down at her with his sparkling dark eyes, her wetness on his mouth. 

“You want to go on?” Ben asks, cupping Rey’s breast and letting his hand trail down her body. Ben pulls her hips flush against his and she feels his desire pumping through his veins; his larger hand on the curve of her waist, pulling her in, makes Rey melt and nod wordlessly. She can’t even form words. 

Ben lays Rey flat on the bed again and she opens her legs for him to fit his body between her legs. He keeps his eyes trained on Rey, keeping their gazes connected as he positions himself at her slit to push into her. Rey feels the blunt head of his cock just  _ threatening  _ to enter her; it’s just there, and Rey feels empty at the lack of him where she needs him and her heart is racing. Her skin erupts into a thousand goosebumps and she wants to buck her hips up against Ben so badly, but she holds back, wanting to savor the entire moment and not rush it. 

Rey gives him a raise of her brows in consent and then finally,  _ finally  _ he’s inside of her and she gasps. It’s like her first time all over again, when she grips the sheets in anticipation and locks her eyes with Ben’s. The thickness and the length of him in her is what she’s been missing these last few days- she cants her hips up and wraps her legs around Ben’s hips completely. Rey whispers  _ go on _ against the skin of his neck and then he starts to rock his hips into hers, his pelvic bone rubbing against her clit. Rey meets him, wants to have more of him all at once. It’s too overwhelming for her to even fathom. 

Ben stops for a moment and reaches up for a pillow to place under Rey’s hips; Rey moans in pleasure when Ben enters her at a new depth, one that they haven’t really experienced before. Ben stills for a moment while he’s fully sheathed in her, and grips her hips so tight that it’ll leave a bruise. Ben moans into Rey’s shoulder, and Rey knows how much he needs her right now. She brings him impossibly closer and threads her fingers in his hair as he thrusts into her, slow and steady. 

“I’m close,” Ben says into Rey’s hair. His pace has increased and Rey hears the sound of their skin hitting each other as she rolls her hips up in kind to get more of what Ben’s giving. A few moments later, he stops and then Rey feels him come, his hips stuttering and his breath catching in his throat. His come is as warm and filling as it always is, and Rey closes her eyes in bliss as Ben rubs her clit quickly and she comes shortly after him. They lay there, warm and satisfied as they breathe. 

Rey swears she feels their bond grow stronger when they came; she swears that, like their first time, the universe and the force were in perfect balance. How could the old Jedi disavow this? How could they look down on something that was so good and created such a strong connection to the force? It wasn’t all emotion; it was focus and perfection. This brought balance and true connection to the force, the one thing that all Jedi wanted to have,

Rey reaches out to Ben wordlessly, finding that he was doing the same exact thing as her. Both of their  _ I love you _ ’s crashed into each other and they smiled to themselves, surrounded by the warmth and the safety of their bed and home.

~~~~~

Rey sits nestled inside Ben’s warm embrace as they gaze off the cliff and into the yellow and pink and orange sunset. Her head is resting in the crook of his neck and her cheek is pressed against his chest. Rey’s eyes are slipping closed, she’s so tired. Rey feels Ben place his hand flat and low on her abdomen.

“I feel the force awakening in you again,” Ben says observantly, maybe even matter-of-factly, to her. Rey smiles knowingly and looks forward, right to where the sky met the earth and the sun was beginning to set.

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> me, in ya brain: kudos/comment on this fic  
> you: but why  
> me, in ya brain: you gotta
> 
> ~Hunter


End file.
